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Review

Blame it on the Raging Hormones by twenty-one year old Nathan Goh is uniquely fresh and wonderful. Presented as an online journal, it covers an approximately eleven month time frame from January to November during the year 2009. The author of this journal is Nicky, a twenty year old adolescent Singaporean in search of love and his own identity. At the start of this journal, Nicky has been dumped by his boyfriend Alex. This is particularly upsetting because Nicky truly believed that Alex was “the One”. Unfortunately Nicky was sorely mistaken. Alex wants his freedom so that he may retain his ability to “play around”. This rejection though painful galvanizes Nicky. He becomes determined to redefine himself physically. He feels that by relentlessly hitting the gym he will make himself worthy of the illusive relationship he craves. Nicky is deeply insecure. He wonders if he can feel good about himself if others stop finding him “cute”. There is ample opportunity for Nicky to know whether or not other men find him cute. A part time student, Nicky spends most of his time working at a gay sex club/sauna known as Club69. Though Nicky is aware of the superficiality inherent to this environment, he still believes that there are opportunities here to find the love and real connection that he seeks. The question is will Nicky know love when he sees it?

To help him maintain perspective on his way to self-realization and meaningful companionship, Nicky has a close circle of friends. Daniel, Dexter and Dave are known as the Triple Ds. Daniel and Dave have been in a monogamous relationship for eight years. Nicky idolizes them. They have the kind of loving relationship that Nicky aspires to have. They are the ones in his world that he looks up to knowing that there is still hope for a committed gay relationship. The third D is Dexter. Dexter is in an on again off again relationship with a guy named Eric. Eric is often abusive. Dexter commiserates with Nicky in regard to what he perceives as their shared inability to find lasting love in healthy relationships. In addition to the triple Ds there is Stella. Stella is Nicky’s best friend and classmate. She is in a healthy relationship with her fiancé – a fledgling baker. Though this relationship takes up a lot of her time, she tries to be there for Nicky at school and when the going gets tough. And the going does get tough.When Daniel and Dave suddenly separate and Nicky’s heart is broken by yet another man he thought was “the One”, he has a breakdown of sorts. He begins to spiral downward. Nicky decides that he is through with love and resorts to a series of random, intense and often dangerous hookups - these as a means to combat the loneliness that overwhelms him. Though he is vehement about practicing safe sex, he often ends up in bed with strangers whose names he can’t recall. These strangers leave him feeling exploited and used. Finally Nicky decides that if all men want him for is sex, he might as well “fucking get something out of it”. Therefore he decides to become a “rent boy” and begins to use the internet as a means to make a living. He is now having sex with men for cash. Where will this road lead? In this environment can Nicky learn the lessons that will enable him to grow? This book is both fascinating and compelling. The character of Nicky is at once charming, reckless, courageous and truthful. He is also endearingly vulnerable. Twenty-one year old Nathan Goh really has his finger on the pulse of this particular sector of Singaporean society - especially as it concerns the young and susceptible. It is an often superficial world composed of random sex, prostitution and drugs. Paradoxically it can be exciting and fun to a twenty year old. Troublingly it is often physically and emotionally brutal and dangerous. Survival may entail a strong sense of humor, a strong sense of self, or a triumph of the human spirit.

 -- Matthew Styles