Review

Fuckin-A, I came during the FBI Warning!

Described by Michael Ninn himself as the most difficult of any scene of his [adult, at least] career to shoot, this "artsy-extreme" DVD opens with Audrey Hollander's erotic campaign for XXX superstar recognition; it does not go unnoticed by S. Kurt Chaser of TLA Video, Audrey. Please thank me in person when time permits. Thanks. Neo_Pornographica pushes the female anatomy to its limit with this one...

The opening portion of the first sequence is shown by Ninn in black & white as Audrey talks dirty to us, saying everything under the sun in an attempt to get our flaccid cocks fired up like her red hair. She masturbates while showing off a true talent for sounding like she's really getting off (maybe she truly is?). The direction & camerawork is signature Ninn, and as Audrey observes a glass dildo standing tall on the floor, the blacks & grays of the screen morph into color images - sitting on a chair, she will command you to do things - hey, listen to the woman! She struggles to fit that un-anatomically correct dildo in her tight pussy, and seriously, it's insane! Wait a minute - Nikki Hunter is observing from across the room; she becomes a dominant force and speaks orders to Audrey with disrespect. Audrey communicates directly to you like a Nextel chirp as she finally sits on the pear-sized tip of the glass cock. You might have better called this scene 'The Case of the Missing Dildo'. Here's a hint: it's hidden inside of Audrey! The 2nd portion of this sequence features a few anal/pussy DP's, and it concludes with Audrey holding the huge glass cock while the two guys cum hard all over it. She is commanded by Nikki to lick it all up, and like a good little slut, she obeys.

I normally like to summarize the sex scenes of a given DVD [in full] because I would think that you'd want to know what you're getting. If you want a fuckin' mystery, go two-way Sherlock Holmes. Chirp-chirp. The French Melissa Lauren & Romanian Sandra Romain follow. Black anal beads, dildos, fingers, a schoolgirl outfit, each girl has a solo masturbation scene, and THEN they tango together! Sandra stretches Melissa's ass with 4 fingers, and Sandra is DP'd with dildos. Julie Night's scene is highlighted by oral/double anal & oral/pussy/anal triple penetrations, as well as the spooning of cum from her ass into her open mouth like cough medicine. Three concrete cocks had shown up to fix her holes like Paul McCartney, and they ended up cumming up on her ass like a rallying horse down the stretch in the Kentucky Derby.

Neo_Pornographica is one of my [new] favorite Michael Ninn projects. I must say that this DVD caught me by surprise - I was the expecting the sexy cool Ninn flavor that I'm used to, but this one kicked it up a FEW notches like watching Emeril while standing in a department store. When is the award show? My money is on this offensive piece of 21st century Neo_Pornographica. Chirp-chirp.

 -- S. Kurt Chaser